Emotion Burdens With Building Blocks 2021 Edition

I have since expanded the concept for all emotions beyond worries, things that cause anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and so on. Basically, anything that uses up our energy or causes us to feel burdened.

Sharing via my Gardening blog as it is in my gardens where I often ponder these concepts. It is also where I realized the same concepts apply to adults and the world at large. Obviously how I would communicate this to adults will be different than how I discuss them with two young boys. Some concepts and word choices would be woefully inappropriate for children. I strive to be honest and open but in an age appropriate and kind way.

Emotional burdens literally come in all shapes and sizes. Ranging from the smallest (block on the top) to the largest (block on the bottom).

However, these burdens are additive and while our worries are internal in many ways it is as if we are carrying them on our head. However, we have no way of ever knowing just how much burden someone is carrying. Always important to be mindful that someone's behavior may have nothing to do with you, they may literally, have a lot on their mind.

When something happens, that in the greater theme of things, is small it can be that thing that pushes us over our limits. We may become upset, angry, or simply sad and find ourselves asking ourselves why we reacted, so strongly to something so small. The answer, simply is, because of all those other burdens.
There are both healthy and unhealthy ways to reduce our burdens.

Healthy – this is by far from an exhaustive list.

• Engage in healthy activities that you enjoy. For me its gardening, going on a hike, or otherwise enjoying nature. For others it may be knitting, crafting, community service, collecting, and an endless list of hobbies. Happy emotions not only increase our ability to handle larger burdens but can also create emotional distance which literally reduces their size.
• Talk to someone. Sometimes the simple act of sharing, how you feel, helps reduce burdens. Sometimes we all need a different perspective and/or device. That is a healthy thing to ask for. However always important to consider who you are sharing with some friends are very well suited and willing to be there to hear every emotional you want to share, and others may not. There are times when another person’s current burdens may not allow them to be receptive to helping with the burdens of others.

  Talking to children, about your own emotions, can be healthy as it serves as a model for sharing. However, it is also true that it is not a child’s role or responsibility to carry a parent’s burden. It is a careful balance of what and how you share.

• Setting healthy boundaries on both yourself and others.
• If the emotional burdens are a result of someone else’s behavior, then implement boundaries to limit and if necessary, eliminate their ability to do so. You have a right to ask someone not to contact you again and if they do then block them. You have a right to limit the method (phone, text, email, etc.) and time that someone you must interact with.
• Set your own limit on when you use electronics; tv (especially news), social media, email, text messaging, and so on.
• The unfollow feature, on many social media sites, can be a powerful tool to remain friends but not view excessive and exhaustive posts.

Unhealthy – this is by far an exhaustive list.

• Throwing your burden at someone else as it is true that throwing one of your burdens at someone does relieve your burdens it is also not healthy. For children, a building block may literally go flying, another toy goes flying, or they may hit or kick a sibling. Both children and adults may yell at someone else and more specifically for adults an angry email/text message/etc. As a parent I address both the behavior and work to teach the children to be mindful of where their emotions are coming from. I, myself in the last year, have been guilty of sending regrettable emails. I believe it important to do that from the perspective of holding myself responsible but to help myself grow and become a better version of myself. It is not healthy to approach it from a perspective of blame or shame. This applies to both children and adult.
• Sharing in an inappropriate or hurtful way. Sharing, as previously mentioned, can be a powerful and healthy tool. Posting hurtful information online, especially when it identifies a person, can be exceedingly unhealthy.
• Being defiant. Not uncommon for a child to sit down and refuse to move and/or engage or follow instructions. Also, not uncommon for adults to do the same. As a parent I recognize the children are attempting to set boundaries and to express themselves and it is important to do so but also important to guide them on healthier ways to do so. With adults its either a conversation or new boundaries.

Final Thoughts

As I reflect on the last 12+ months and how Covid has impacted the world there have been many positive and encouraging examples of people coming together to help each other with this burden. There also have been far too many examples of people throwing their building blocks at others. There has been a lot of fear and anxiety. Some are afraid of catching Covid and becoming seriously ill from it and/or passing it on to someone else who does. Some are afraid of governmental control and interference in their day to day lives. Some are afraid of losing their jobs, businesses, and being unable to provide for themselves. In many cases all three apply but in all cases, we are reacting to our fears along with being frustrated by how little we can control. Instead of throwing blocks at each other I believe we instead should work together to build a better world and future for our children.